For years, people have been asking me the same question:“Zi Yan, as a writer, is it useful for you to study at a Radio and Television University(RTVU)?” I want to say that any useful learning is good for personal development.

I still remember that in May 2011, Changchun RTVU and Changchun Disabled Persons’ Federation worked together and established the“Changchun RTVU School for the Disabled”. Recommended by the Disabled Persons’ Federation in Yushu, I came to Changchun RTVU in my wheelchair to attend the inauguration ceremony and realized my dream of attention university that had been curtailed at the age of 18. Mr. Sun, Secretary of the Party Committee of Changchun RTVU, reviewed my speech in person. At the opening ceremony, tutors from the College of Special Education gently pushed me onto the stages I could elaborate on my desire for knowledge, the pursuit of my dreams, and the awe and appreciation for life felt by all the new students. 

On that day I was also lucky enough to meet Yan Bing,Vice President of the Open University of China (formerly China Central Radio and Television University), who asked in detail about my physical conditions and urged me to protect my physical health while studying. Since then, with the help of the tutors and students of the RTVU and their company, I have no longer been alone.

In the beginning, the digital media major I had chosen seemed not to have any direct relationship with writing. However, eventually the joy of using digital media to set type and design the cover for my literary works was unspeakable. Today, after obtaining a college diploma as an Outstanding Graduate of the OUC, I have started studying sociology at the undergraduate level, with the hope of learning about sociology and mastering some psychological theories. This has helped me to broaden my horizons and accumulate rich materials for my writing. “Teachers are those who propagate doctrine, impart professional knowledge, and resolve doubts.”During this period, I developed sincere friendships with the tutors and students, which has inspired me to be diligent and continuously improve myself. 

How much love can the life of a student attract from their teachers? I remembered clearly that at 2pm on September 6, 2012, the arrival of eight tutors from the Party Committee Office and Teaching Assistance Branch of Changchun RTVU had lit up my gloomy mood like a ray of warm sunshine.I published the scene with the title “Teachers and Students Warm Each Other Like Autumn Sunshine”. An unexpected work injury accident that happened to my husband attracted attention from all of the RTVU tutors, who made time in their busy schedules to visit my home and express their condolences. This friendship is beyond any simple numerical measurements.

How much encouragement can a student receive from their teachers? It is hard to forget that early in November 2014, the national opening ceremony of the Activity Week for Lifelong Learning for All, with the theme of “Lifelong Learning for All, Creating a Brilliant Life”, was held in Chongqing. Recommended by Changchun RTVU and Jilin Provincial Department of Education, I was named as a“Learning Star with the Most Moving Story around the Country” by the Ministry of Education (MOE). With the arrangement of the university and accompanied by my teacher, I went to a grand awards ceremony in Chongqing on behalf of Jilin province. 

I was interviewed by Vice Minister of the MOE,Lu Xin,and Director of the Department of Vocational and Adult Education of the MOE, Ge Daokai,along with other 11 model students from around the country. Holding the certificate and the fragrant flowers, facing the interview lens and the audience off the stage, I was too excited to hold back my tears. Thank you to the black earth in Jilin where I was born and grew up. Thank you to my fellow countrymen helping me to pursue my dreams along the way. Thank you to the education of the OUC. Most importantly, thank you for the hope and power that learning has brought me. Hopefully, lifelong learning can go “further” and “deeper”. It should not only enter into cities and communities, but also into villages so that everyone can enjoy the social benefits of lifelong learning. 

It is true that my heart is full of gratitude. I often think about how lucky I am! From Changchun RTVU in the far north to the OUC Shenzhen School for the Disabled in the far south, and again to the OUC in the capital city of Beijing, I have traveled thousands of miles across the country, and both tutors and students have paid attention to my growth at every stage. 

When I was recognized by the Chinese Writers Association and invited to Beijing to study at the Luxun Literature School, my tutors were more excited than me. When my novel Left-hand Love was officially published, my tutors and students were more excited than me. When the 33-episode radio drama adapted from Left-hand Love was a big hit on the radio, many tutors and students waited for the programmes and listened to them intently. When I found out that the movie Left-hand Love had passed registration and became a project of the State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television (SARFT), the tutors and students hoped that it could be shot and shown on the big screen as soon as possible. On July 21, 2014, when I was officially admitted to the Chinese Writers Association and became the only disabled person in the Chinese Writers Association in Jilin, my tutors were particularly pleased. At the same time, they didn’t forget to remind me: “Take all honors and awards lightly, and then work hard, be calm, enrich yourself,and keep moving towards a higher goal.

I have always appreciated the following quote from Chairman Zhang Haidi: “I am grateful that life gave me a pen that can talk, which allows me to pour out my heart and to fight. I am not only alive, but also flying my hearts in my writing.” Until today, I have lived for 23 years in my wheelchair. Although my legs are still unfeeling, my backbone needs to be supported by two steel plates more than a foot long, and I can’t stand and walk like I could 18 years ago, I still don’t feel sad. Reading and studying has taught me to be tough, to cherish, and to be thankful. More importantly,it has taught me how to think: Who am I? Where am I coming from or going towards?

This reminded me of two of my names, Li Fengyan and Li Ziyan. The former is my real name, which carries my parents hope that one day I can grow to be a glamorous and golden phoenix, fly out of the small village in my hometown,and soar into the sky. The latter is a penname I gave myself after I became paraplegic. I encouraged myself inwardly: “Even if I don’t become a golden phoenix, what’s the difference? I can be a little swallow that can fly freely in and out of a poem.”

The change from Fengyan to Ziyan actually represents my most difficult personal journey. On the timeline of literary creation, my words are still immature. But with the support of my family and friends they become more real and pure, and appear to be unfazed by dirt and dust. As the saying goes: “When drinking wine people can always taste the original flavor of the grapes”. It doesn’t matter whether I am Fengyan and Ziyan, as long as I yearn for the sky and maintain my love of life, I believe that with no wings, I can still fly.” 

As I write this it is May, a month when spring blossoms in northern China. The words Yan Bing spoke to me four years ago come back to me: “With the nourishment of learning and an outpouring of love, the flower of your dreams will always bloom!”

I want to thank the OUC for this unique learning experience.I am but a swallow with broken wings from the north, yet I was able to have the courage to let my words fly and show the world a sunny smile.

(The author is a member of Chinese Writers Association. This article was awarded first prize in the OUC Essay Campaign “My Teaching Story” in 2015.)

By Li Fengyan,Changchun RTVU School for the Disabled